Warning!! Some graphic material ahead...
For this month, I read Down Came the Rain: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression by Brooke Shields. Yes, it is another book that the midwives have and lend out :) I had been eyeing it for a while for mainly two reasons: I find it interesting when celebrities write books, especially about real things. It' makes them seem more real themselves, I guess. And postpartum depression (PPD) interests me since I had it after Via for just a little while. It's weird.
In the book, Brooke goes through her story of trying to get pregnant, seemingly endless fertility treatments, and then her massive struggle with depression and self after her first daughter, Rowan, was born. (Love that name, btw.) She describes things only a mother who has had PPD would understand. If you haven't had it or seen it, it's hard to comprehend. Why would a mother envision her baby flying across the room and hitting a wall? Or scissors ending up in the baby?? Not that the mother thinks or even plans to do these things, and it's not even her doing them in her head... They are just flittering thoughts that enter with no warning or explanation. "What would happen if...?" Told you. Weird. Scary.
The trick to handling this depression is to know when to get help. You can get help! It's not that you're broken or a bad mother or you don't love your child. It's a chemical, hormonal imbalance that affects you in a very strange way. As many as 1 in 10 women have postpartum depression. Brooke's book is meant to educate others about the effects and getting help. She tries, and, I think, succeeds at motivating and informing women that you are not alone. You don't have to suffer alone.
At first, Brooke was very hesitant to even admit she had PPD. She thought it was only those women who actually hurt their children by drowning them or something. That's postpartum psychosis, most likely, and is different. In comparison, though, PPD is very different than the "baby blues" which usually only last a few days to two weeks and don't include thoughts of baby hurting or suicide.
Once the thoughts of jumping out the window and running away into nonexistence finally became too much, Brooke admitted she needed help. She was hesitant to start on an anti-depressant because she didn't want to become addicted, and thought it wasn't working at first, but noticed a drastic change when she decided to go off it.
I started on Wellbutrin. I had many of the same thoughts, that Brooke describes in her book, find their way into my head. What would happen if baby's head got smashed into something?? It didn't take me long to realize that this was NOT normal. It didn't mean I didn't love my baby or feel love for her, which IS a stark comparison to what Brooke was feeling. I didn't want to hurt my baby at all. I wasn't the one who would smash her with anything. But what would it be like if...? So I saw my doctor. (Yes, I do take pride in seeking help quickly.) And I started on medication. This particular one only intensified the thought of drowning in a bathtub, though. It was extremely vivid one night. I could see the water rising up and up. It surrounded me. I slowly sank down into the water and actually believed I was drowning for a few seconds. It was time to try a different medication :) I started on Pristiq, and it worked great. I find it interesting that our different bodies and personalities respond to medication differently. Brooke started on Paxil, which worked just fine, but later tried Wellbutrin which worked wonders for her. Just trial and error with most anti-depressants.
They say it takes a while before you start to notice changes with anti-depressants. Apparently it didn't take too long with me. The Wellbutrin made me even more crazy in just two days. After a few weeks on the Pristiq I had forgotten to take it one day. I was insanely stressed out and on edge. I remember yelling at Lucas like I never had before because he was getting in the way of my unpacking (we had just moved). I felt terrible and then remembered that I didn't take my pill that morning (or the night before. I don't remember.)
After getting back into our routine of school and adjusting to having two kids I was able to wean off the medication just fine after only a few months. I was missing my rhythm. I wasn't used to staying at home all day everyday with a one year old while exhausted and pregnant. My life seemed a little dull until I actually had V. Then it changed drastically! Pile on the preterm labor, another NICU stay (which I didn't think was nearly as bad as Lucas's, but apparently took it's toll), recovering from a C-section, the sleep depravation (a big one!), and the thought of starting school again full-time 6 weeks after Via was born... I was a recipe for disaster!
The sleep depravation was a huge one for me. Mostly because I thought I was doing fine. My experiences with sleep were so different between my two kids. With Lucas, it seemed like if he were to stop breathing, it would happen at night. I have a hard time waking up for anything, and sadly, he was no exception. Where was that pure, selfless love a mother feels for her child?? I don't know. I had to resort to staying up all night with him (between the fear of him not breathing and the resentment at him waking me up) and I would just sleep during the day with him. It was totally fine if he woke me during the day since I should have been up anyway. My transition into "mommy sleep" with him was definitely a psychological one.
With Via, however, it was so easy. She would barely cry and I would be awake and ready to feed her most of the time. Sometimes I was groggy, as you might imagine, but I had no resentment toward her for waking me up. I would feed her, she would spit up, we'd both get naked, and we would sleep skin to skin for a while before I put her back in her bed all bundled up. Levi got up with her once in a while, but he didn't have to for the most part. Not until I hit serious PPD, anyway. Once all of that came to light and the sleep depravation had taken it's toll, he started getting up with her for the most part so I could get back on track and recover from surgery. That was the main thing that helped me. Just sleep.
Counseling also really helps those with PPD. They say the biggest help is medication with professional counseling. I tried one session, but once I got back into my life and routine, I really was just fine. It did help Brooke, though, as there were bigger issues than stress and routine contributing to her PPD.
She really does a great job of telling her story and educating about this disorder at the same time. I love her voice and style of writing. It was a really great read, and if you ever want an insight to what someone with PPD may be going through, it's a great resource. She explains it well. Better than I have attempted here, I'm sure. Sorry if I scared anyone. I tried my best to explain it, but as I said earlier, if you haven't experienced it, it's hard to grasp.
Just know that there is hope. There are resources. You are not broken. It will pass.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Crying on Sundays
It seems as if crying is new Sunday trend. Because I feel the spirit? Sadly, no. Not even close.
I try to get us in a good mood in the mornings with music and a good breakfast. Our church doesn't start until 1pm so the mornings are nice and slow. But Levi has been working the last 5 Sundays during church. I. can't. do. it. anymore! I don't know how other mothers do it by themselves. Please, tell me the secret!
We have Sacrament last, which also doesn't help. Lucas plays all morning and plays all afternoon in nursery, and then I expect him to sit still during Sacrament?? He thinks I'm crazy! I can't even get him to sit still through the first song! I've tried books and pictures and snacks and bribes and it just isn't working. Someone tell me there is a point to all this... Why should I even keep going?? Establishing habits, the few lines of the lesson I do get to hear, the learning Lucas gets from nursery? Most of the time I feel like we should just start all that when he can learn to keep his bum in a chair for more than 20 seconds. Or, better yet, we can just do it at home in our underwear!
I didn't even get through the opening song last week before I burst into tears from stress and embarrassment and gathered everything up to go home. It was like that the week before, as well. And the very first week... when the lid came off the sippy and milk went all over the carpet. This week we kind of made it through the Sacrament, but I still broke down in the driveway when we got home. Lucas goes one way while Via heads another. People try to help. One of our sweet nursery leaders held Via for a bit, but as soon as she realized it wasn't me she started throwing a fit. A friend of mine tried to take Lucas in the hall with her little girl, but that doesn't last long either. At least nothing got spilled on or smashed into the floor this week...
As I gathered things up to leave today, one of the members in the bishopric started commenting on how the Sacrament was a sacred and special time. I don't know how the rest of his comments went, but I definitely felt like he was singling me out. Here I am, the crazy woman with two little kids running around ruining the Sacrament for everyone else. What is the point?
The only thing holding me together right now is that Levi has next Sunday off. But what about the next 5 after that? I'm just not one of those amazing mothers who can get their children to hold still. I just can't do it on my own. I dread going to church. One should not dread going to church.
I remember when I was younger thinking how boring it was having to sit through meetings. I would love to just sit through an entire block without kids now. Ironic much?
And, of course, there's the "enjoy it while it lasts" and "they grow up way too fast." Yeah, I know. But that doesn't help me chase down the screaming toddler headed for the door in the chapel when everyone else is silent. It doesn't make me enjoy that time at all. I enjoy the time when they're cute and singing primary songs and maybe the time when I'm just following Via up and down the stairs in the hall during Sunday School. But it does not hold back the tears from embarrassment when my children are yelling during a sacred ordinance. It just doesn't.
Really, though. What is the point? I'm just bothering everyone else when they are trying to focus on the Savior. I'm just distracting people when I'm chasing toddlers up and down and in and out. I want to cry on Sundays because I am able to feel the Spirit. I don't want to cry because I'm frustrated and feeling horrible at this whole mothering business. What kind of a mother can't keep her kids still for even20 10 minutes? I'm just not cut out for doing Sundays alone. I just can't do it anymore.
I try to get us in a good mood in the mornings with music and a good breakfast. Our church doesn't start until 1pm so the mornings are nice and slow. But Levi has been working the last 5 Sundays during church. I. can't. do. it. anymore! I don't know how other mothers do it by themselves. Please, tell me the secret!
We have Sacrament last, which also doesn't help. Lucas plays all morning and plays all afternoon in nursery, and then I expect him to sit still during Sacrament?? He thinks I'm crazy! I can't even get him to sit still through the first song! I've tried books and pictures and snacks and bribes and it just isn't working. Someone tell me there is a point to all this... Why should I even keep going?? Establishing habits, the few lines of the lesson I do get to hear, the learning Lucas gets from nursery? Most of the time I feel like we should just start all that when he can learn to keep his bum in a chair for more than 20 seconds. Or, better yet, we can just do it at home in our underwear!
I didn't even get through the opening song last week before I burst into tears from stress and embarrassment and gathered everything up to go home. It was like that the week before, as well. And the very first week... when the lid came off the sippy and milk went all over the carpet. This week we kind of made it through the Sacrament, but I still broke down in the driveway when we got home. Lucas goes one way while Via heads another. People try to help. One of our sweet nursery leaders held Via for a bit, but as soon as she realized it wasn't me she started throwing a fit. A friend of mine tried to take Lucas in the hall with her little girl, but that doesn't last long either. At least nothing got spilled on or smashed into the floor this week...
As I gathered things up to leave today, one of the members in the bishopric started commenting on how the Sacrament was a sacred and special time. I don't know how the rest of his comments went, but I definitely felt like he was singling me out. Here I am, the crazy woman with two little kids running around ruining the Sacrament for everyone else. What is the point?
The only thing holding me together right now is that Levi has next Sunday off. But what about the next 5 after that? I'm just not one of those amazing mothers who can get their children to hold still. I just can't do it on my own. I dread going to church. One should not dread going to church.
I remember when I was younger thinking how boring it was having to sit through meetings. I would love to just sit through an entire block without kids now. Ironic much?
And, of course, there's the "enjoy it while it lasts" and "they grow up way too fast." Yeah, I know. But that doesn't help me chase down the screaming toddler headed for the door in the chapel when everyone else is silent. It doesn't make me enjoy that time at all. I enjoy the time when they're cute and singing primary songs and maybe the time when I'm just following Via up and down the stairs in the hall during Sunday School. But it does not hold back the tears from embarrassment when my children are yelling during a sacred ordinance. It just doesn't.
Really, though. What is the point? I'm just bothering everyone else when they are trying to focus on the Savior. I'm just distracting people when I'm chasing toddlers up and down and in and out. I want to cry on Sundays because I am able to feel the Spirit. I don't want to cry because I'm frustrated and feeling horrible at this whole mothering business. What kind of a mother can't keep her kids still for even
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Clean All the Clothes!
Saturdays are usually laundry day. I know it works for some to keep up on it throughout the week and do a load a day... not for me. I do about 5-6 (sometimes 7) loads on Saturday. They get clean. Folding is a different story ;)
For almost a year now I've been making my laundry detergent. You may remember my post when I first started making powdered detergent. I thought it would be less work than doing liquid/gel detergent with the process of cooking and cooling and 5 gallon buckets and whatnot. Not true. I have found that the liquid kind is soooo much easier to make than the powdered, at least if you are like me and don't have a food processor. I would spend about an hour grating or chopping the soap super finely. My washer apparently doesn't like powder, either, because I would occasionally find clumps of it throughout the clothes. A new washer and dryer is on my list of things to get in the next five years, but probably not for a while. So I decided to give in and try a liquid version. I tried a Dawn dish soap version I found on One Good Thing by Jillee. It was super easy to make (and cheap) but after just one batch of it I could tell it was cheap. Dish soap was not made for clothes. I could tell it was taking a toll on my laundry. It wore on the fabric and made them seem very dull. So I ditched that kind as well. I had only one option left: liquid.
How did I not know it was so easy?? All of the pins I had found would seem like long, complicated processes. It's not. I read through a bunch and kind of developed my own recipe. I only make about 3-64oz containers at a time instead of 3 gallons or so. Each container lasts us at least over a week, sometimes two, using about 1/2 cup in each load. It gets our clothes clean without damaging them. It's easy, natural, and very cost effective!
Economical breakdown:
Fels Naptha bar soap ($1): 2 batches - $0.50 each batch
Washing soda (55 oz box for $4): 13 batches - $0.30 each batch
Borax (76 oz box for $3): 19 batches - $0.16 each batch
*exact prices may vary ;)
About $1 for a month's worth of laundry soap!
Today was my third batch of liquid, and it definitely is the best that I've tried by far! Here is the recipe that I concocted from reading other various recipes. What I've learned is it's really not so much about the amounts or the process you use; if it works for you, then it works!
Liquid Laundry Detergent:
1/2 bar laundry soap
6ish cups of water
*Dissolve/melt soap in water in largeish pot over mediumish heat while stirring.
1/2 cup Borax
1/2 cup washing soda
*Add after soap has dissolved. If you add before then, I've found that it takes a little longer for the soap to dissolve. Not a big deal if you have more than 15 minutes to throw this together.
*Let cool in pot. It will become gelatinous.
*Once cool, transfer to containers, divided evenly, using a funnel and a measuring cup or whatever.
*Add water to fill containers. Shake it up! Over time, ingredients may separate naturally, just shake before adding to the load.
For almost a year now I've been making my laundry detergent. You may remember my post when I first started making powdered detergent. I thought it would be less work than doing liquid/gel detergent with the process of cooking and cooling and 5 gallon buckets and whatnot. Not true. I have found that the liquid kind is soooo much easier to make than the powdered, at least if you are like me and don't have a food processor. I would spend about an hour grating or chopping the soap super finely. My washer apparently doesn't like powder, either, because I would occasionally find clumps of it throughout the clothes. A new washer and dryer is on my list of things to get in the next five years, but probably not for a while. So I decided to give in and try a liquid version. I tried a Dawn dish soap version I found on One Good Thing by Jillee. It was super easy to make (and cheap) but after just one batch of it I could tell it was cheap. Dish soap was not made for clothes. I could tell it was taking a toll on my laundry. It wore on the fabric and made them seem very dull. So I ditched that kind as well. I had only one option left: liquid.
How did I not know it was so easy?? All of the pins I had found would seem like long, complicated processes. It's not. I read through a bunch and kind of developed my own recipe. I only make about 3-64oz containers at a time instead of 3 gallons or so. Each container lasts us at least over a week, sometimes two, using about 1/2 cup in each load. It gets our clothes clean without damaging them. It's easy, natural, and very cost effective!
Economical breakdown:
Fels Naptha bar soap ($1): 2 batches - $0.50 each batch
Washing soda (55 oz box for $4): 13 batches - $0.30 each batch
Borax (76 oz box for $3): 19 batches - $0.16 each batch
*exact prices may vary ;)
About $1 for a month's worth of laundry soap!
Today was my third batch of liquid, and it definitely is the best that I've tried by far! Here is the recipe that I concocted from reading other various recipes. What I've learned is it's really not so much about the amounts or the process you use; if it works for you, then it works!
Liquid Laundry Detergent:
1/2 bar laundry soap
6ish cups of water
*Dissolve/melt soap in water in largeish pot over mediumish heat while stirring.
1/2 cup Borax
1/2 cup washing soda
*Add after soap has dissolved. If you add before then, I've found that it takes a little longer for the soap to dissolve. Not a big deal if you have more than 15 minutes to throw this together.
*Let cool in pot. It will become gelatinous.
*Once cool, transfer to containers, divided evenly, using a funnel and a measuring cup or whatever.
*Add water to fill containers. Shake it up! Over time, ingredients may separate naturally, just shake before adding to the load.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Babies!!!!
Well, if you've been following me for a while, you may remember my post about only having two kids. True, having two littles running around can be exhausting and frustrating, but lately Levi and I have both been wanting more kids. Amidst the chaos and screaming there is so much joy we get from them! We're actually both a little baby hungry again ;) You may be thinking, "Wait! What?? I thought it was dangerous for you to get pregnant again!!" That's what I thought. That's what I was lead to believe.
First and foremost, I absolutely loved having Dr. Jacobs as my provider when I was pregnant with Via. He was great. I felt like he took care of me very well and I was very excited he was on call when I went into labor with her. He took great care of me after I had her, too. He was great. But he is young. And I think I scare him. One thing I definitely learned from working at the clinic is no two providers are the same. They still all have different opinions and techniques (is that the right word? Does that make sense??)
Anyway, I approached Dr. Jacobs one day during my internship about a procedure he had brought up briefly. I have a septum, or wall, in my uterus that most likely caused the preterm labor. He had talked about it being removed. I wanted to know what kind of surgery it was, maybe how much it would cost, was it an office or hospital procedure? When I started asking about he replied with, "Don't tell me you're thinking of having more kids. You're high-risk. I don't like high-risk." It hurt my feelings.
After that I had been thinking of getting a second opinion on the matter. My insurance kicked in this month, so I met with another one of the doctors. If the door really was closed, I just needed to hear it from someone else as well. "By the witness of two" kind of thing. So that's what I did.
I met with Dr. Cox, went over my history with him (all of it), my husband drew a great picture of my uterus (since he saw it during V's c-section), and he also suggested that we take out the septum, but was extremely optimistic about me having more kids! He explained the procedure to me, one of his nurses actually looked up how much it would cost, it would be a same-day surgery in the hospital, and I could have more babies shortly after! While we were talking, he said he'd get me set up for the surgery now and I could be pregnant in 6-8 weeks! Whoa! Unfortunately, we don't have the money for all of that right now, but we do have a plan. I will get to that.
Right after our consultation, Dr. Cox had a meeting with the clinic partners. He presented my case (anonymously, of course) to two others in our clinic, heart issues and all. They both agreed with Dr. Cox :) When I talked to him later, he didn't even sound too concerned about me having more before the septum excision, but of course a septum excision first would be safest. And the least expensive in the long run if we ended up with another NICU baby. $70,000 for a preemie (assuming we would make it to at least 35 wks again) or $4,000ish for the surgery. Yeah, going with surgery.
So, the plan: Next year's tax returns will go toward surgery and our insurance deductible, and we plan to start trying again soon after that. Hopefully by March of next year. Sadly, we are paying off credit cards with this year's return, or else we would jump on it now. No more credit card debt for us, though! And hopefully two more babies in our future!
First and foremost, I absolutely loved having Dr. Jacobs as my provider when I was pregnant with Via. He was great. I felt like he took care of me very well and I was very excited he was on call when I went into labor with her. He took great care of me after I had her, too. He was great. But he is young. And I think I scare him. One thing I definitely learned from working at the clinic is no two providers are the same. They still all have different opinions and techniques (is that the right word? Does that make sense??)
Anyway, I approached Dr. Jacobs one day during my internship about a procedure he had brought up briefly. I have a septum, or wall, in my uterus that most likely caused the preterm labor. He had talked about it being removed. I wanted to know what kind of surgery it was, maybe how much it would cost, was it an office or hospital procedure? When I started asking about he replied with, "Don't tell me you're thinking of having more kids. You're high-risk. I don't like high-risk." It hurt my feelings.
After that I had been thinking of getting a second opinion on the matter. My insurance kicked in this month, so I met with another one of the doctors. If the door really was closed, I just needed to hear it from someone else as well. "By the witness of two" kind of thing. So that's what I did.
I met with Dr. Cox, went over my history with him (all of it), my husband drew a great picture of my uterus (since he saw it during V's c-section), and he also suggested that we take out the septum, but was extremely optimistic about me having more kids! He explained the procedure to me, one of his nurses actually looked up how much it would cost, it would be a same-day surgery in the hospital, and I could have more babies shortly after! While we were talking, he said he'd get me set up for the surgery now and I could be pregnant in 6-8 weeks! Whoa! Unfortunately, we don't have the money for all of that right now, but we do have a plan. I will get to that.
Right after our consultation, Dr. Cox had a meeting with the clinic partners. He presented my case (anonymously, of course) to two others in our clinic, heart issues and all. They both agreed with Dr. Cox :) When I talked to him later, he didn't even sound too concerned about me having more before the septum excision, but of course a septum excision first would be safest. And the least expensive in the long run if we ended up with another NICU baby. $70,000 for a preemie (assuming we would make it to at least 35 wks again) or $4,000ish for the surgery. Yeah, going with surgery.
So, the plan: Next year's tax returns will go toward surgery and our insurance deductible, and we plan to start trying again soon after that. Hopefully by March of next year. Sadly, we are paying off credit cards with this year's return, or else we would jump on it now. No more credit card debt for us, though! And hopefully two more babies in our future!
January
What a crazy month it was! Where did it go??
I thought I would follow up on my little goals for each month that I had set. Just to warn you, it didn't go extremely well haha!
Save $10 each month - This I did do. There is money in our savings account, but we did use the credit cards during January, so I'm not sure it really counts...
Read one book each month - I did do this! I finished a book at the beginning of the month and then read two more. I have also started my February book and am really enjoying it! I will post on it when I am done... sometime by the end of the month ;)
Read 10 verses each day - I was doing pretty well at a chapter a day, but then I started to wane. I need to get back on it. It's been a good two weeks since I've read, I think :/
Work out 3 times each week - I've done at least two times each week with my mother-in-law and usually one on my own on the weekends. 5 am is early! I do take the stairs at work when I go down to the cafeteria for lunch. Does that count??
Drink {more} water - I have been much better about drinking water! I feel like I drink it constantly at work and have been drinking more at home. This week I had some sprite and cranberry juice (with raspberries...healthier??) at a couple of parties we had at our house, but I believe that's the first time I've had soda this year. If you know me and my soda habit, that's a feat!
Eat healthier - Ah, the clean eating.... We were doing so well the first two-ish weeks. I've kind of fallen off the wagon with it. The main goal was 1 serving of veggies a day. For the most part, I've gotten those in. There were maybe a few days in the last few weeks that I didn't get any vegetables. Clean eating is hard. For me, at least. The moment came at "that time of the month" (sorry, tmi) when I inhaled almost two big macs. Yeah. Defeated by a secret sauce. I've been somewhere in the middle since then. Still shooting for healthier things, but the intensity died :( Beside the big mac fiasco, we haven't done fast food much at all. A mcmuffin yesterday morning. And it was delicious. That's all. So.... it's getting better.
Meditate - I always forget about this one. No, I'm not great at personal prayer. I should be by now. We do really well with nighttime family prayers, and I'm trying to get us into the habit of morning family prayer since we've all been up together the last few days, but it's the habit-making that's the hard part. It's hit and miss with this one still.
Well, there you have it. Not as great as I had hoped. I will just try a little harder. That's about all I can do, I suppose.
I thought I would follow up on my little goals for each month that I had set. Just to warn you, it didn't go extremely well haha!
Save $10 each month - This I did do. There is money in our savings account, but we did use the credit cards during January, so I'm not sure it really counts...
Read one book each month - I did do this! I finished a book at the beginning of the month and then read two more. I have also started my February book and am really enjoying it! I will post on it when I am done... sometime by the end of the month ;)
Read 10 verses each day - I was doing pretty well at a chapter a day, but then I started to wane. I need to get back on it. It's been a good two weeks since I've read, I think :/
Work out 3 times each week - I've done at least two times each week with my mother-in-law and usually one on my own on the weekends. 5 am is early! I do take the stairs at work when I go down to the cafeteria for lunch. Does that count??
Drink {more} water - I have been much better about drinking water! I feel like I drink it constantly at work and have been drinking more at home. This week I had some sprite and cranberry juice (with raspberries...healthier??) at a couple of parties we had at our house, but I believe that's the first time I've had soda this year. If you know me and my soda habit, that's a feat!
Eat healthier - Ah, the clean eating.... We were doing so well the first two-ish weeks. I've kind of fallen off the wagon with it. The main goal was 1 serving of veggies a day. For the most part, I've gotten those in. There were maybe a few days in the last few weeks that I didn't get any vegetables. Clean eating is hard. For me, at least. The moment came at "that time of the month" (sorry, tmi) when I inhaled almost two big macs. Yeah. Defeated by a secret sauce. I've been somewhere in the middle since then. Still shooting for healthier things, but the intensity died :( Beside the big mac fiasco, we haven't done fast food much at all. A mcmuffin yesterday morning. And it was delicious. That's all. So.... it's getting better.
Meditate - I always forget about this one. No, I'm not great at personal prayer. I should be by now. We do really well with nighttime family prayers, and I'm trying to get us into the habit of morning family prayer since we've all been up together the last few days, but it's the habit-making that's the hard part. It's hit and miss with this one still.
Well, there you have it. Not as great as I had hoped. I will just try a little harder. That's about all I can do, I suppose.
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