I've been debating for a while now whether to post/vent about this. I've come to the conclusion that it's my blog! I can write what I want! If you don't like it, you don't have to read it ;)
The Welfare Stigma.
I hate it. I'm sure most of you knew/suspected that our little family received assistance - sounds better than way haha! - while we were going to school. I don't want to get into the whole, "Well, don't have kids while you're in college then!" thing. Meh. Probably wasn't the smartest idea, but I believe when and how many children a couple decides to have is between them and the Lord. I also believe welfare programs are designed to help those in need, even if those in need are college kids who decide to throw a couple kids in the mix. I always felt the need to defend myself in some way when using my food stamp card or talking about it with someone. I still do, actually! And you'll see them throughout the post.
My defense was always, "Well, we are trying to better our lives. We will graduate. We will get jobs. We pay our taxes. Blah. Blah. Blah." So, we bettered our lives. We got educations. We got jobs. We pay our taxes. And, now for a semi-vent, we make $300/year too much to qualify. Yes. Per year, not per month. $300/yr does not buy food for a family of 4. Now, why it's only a semi-vent: Ever since we've been on assistance I've disliked the fact and looked forward to the day when we could be self-sufficient. Reason: the stigma. I loathe the welfare stigma. It's there for a reason, but I did not feel like we were a part of that reason, not completely. In some ways, yes, but I still feel too guilty to get into that part ;)
I'm sure many of you have seen the memes and the posters. "If you can afford beer, drugs, cigarettes, manicures, and tattoos - you don't need food stamps or welfare" or "I went to sign my dog up for welfare. They said he's not eligible. I said he's lazy, unemployed, and doesn't know his daddy. He gets his check next week." Albeit slightly amusing, they cut those of us that did get the occasional manicure and bought pretty nice gifts this year with tax returns. I can try to spin it a number of ways, but bottom line is we could have lived with much less. We could have gone without a lot of things. Welfare was never intended to be a career opportunity, and we never expected it to be. But the memes. I hate them. I really think we should just get rid of them. They only make those that need the system feel badly. And those that abuse it, well, do you really think they're going to change because they saw a poster on Facebook??
In my opinion, there are two classes of people using assistance: Those that splurge once in a while when they can (tax returns, birthday money, etc.) knowing the fun will come to an end when they no longer need assistance, and those whose lifestyle is a splurge with no intention of becoming self reliant.
This issue became hard for me as I started working. In Rexburg, more than half of us that were pregnant were also on Medicaid. If you were a student, you had to have primary insurance, so Medicaid was actually secondary for most (and $168,000 in NICU charges later, I'm glad it was!!). Many going to school with kids were on food stamps. I personally didn't see a whole lot of chronic system abuse at BYU-I, not to say there wasn't any. And... I am in NO way saying that I think everyone I see in the clinic on Medicaid is abusing the system. I'm fully aware that we still live in a college town. Aaaand.... I really try very, very hard not to judge anyone in the clinic. However, I do see the occasional person that could fit the stigma - I won't go into detail. Now, whether they really are abusing the system or not isn't even the issue to me. I know there are those out there that do, hence the stigma. But just the possibility of it being someone I'm taking a blood pressure on hits close to home. And at that point, it feels almost as if we are being punished for being honest. I've always been super honest on our forms, and now that we make $300/year too much to qualify, we are scraping up $575/month for daycare.
Times get tough. I get it. I'm glad we have a welfare system in place. But I think it needs an extreme makeover! We were receiving so much more than we really needed each month in food stamps. We would have done just fine on half. So we built up our food storage and we would buy food for friends (shhh!). If the government cut everyone's allowance by just $100 it would help our national budget immensely! Food stamp living is comfortable! We would always have enough for treats, soda, seafood if we wanted... It needs to be restrictive, in my opinion. Welfare shouldn't be comfortable. You shouldn't be able to buy soda, cakes, and individually packaged sugar rushes. This, I believe, would help our national obesity crisis. When you only have a certain amount of money to spend on food, and it's limited, you don't buy copious amounts of stuff like that. Well, hopefully not. And the drug testing! That needs to take effect everywhere asap, I think. That is one poster I fully agree with: "You should have to pass a drug test for a welfare check if I have to pass one to earn it for you." P.s. I agreed with it while on welfare, not just now that I have a job haha!
Well, there's my rant since I was on a writing kick ;)
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Updates
Once again, way too long since I last blogged. Can you tell we've been a little crazy lately??
Well, I finally finished the Sacrament talk I will be giving in about 9 hours. I seriously thought about it all week and couldn't decide which direction to go. Then the week just flew by and before I knew it, it was Saturday. And, of course, now that I'm done, I'm not tired... at 1 am. Go me.
There are so many things that I have been meaning to blog about lately. I keep adding them to the mental list in my head. Now that I'm writing, can I think of any that made the list?? No.
So.... I'll just write and see if I can think of them along the way ;)
Christmas: Was good. Quite. Messy. We had Christmas Eve dinner at Levi's mom's house, which was fun. Then we just had our little Christmas morning here. Somehow I managed to tear the clear covering (bulbar conjunctiva) around my eyeball. When I no longer have insurance, of course. (Between student insurance and my 90 days at my company. I start company insurance in Feb.) I could see where it actually tore, so I was freaking out a bit. But! No worries. Apparently the eye heals at superhero speed because within an hour or so it was back to normal. No more symptoms, no more tear. Weird, right?
We did take pictures and a few videos, but I'm honestly too lazy to post them right now. They should be up on Facebook soon :)
Jobs: We got a real nice heartbreak as Levi was turned down most recently for a job at Kiewit. I cried. A lot. Multiple times. I felt so good about that job, and I never really felt good about the ones before, even if I wanted him to get them. So that one was a big let down for both of us. I know people say, "There must be something better in store for you then!" Well, what if there's not? At least not in the next few years? I know, I know. Trusting in the Lord means trusting in His timing as well. I know things will look up eventually, but right now they are just a little bleak when it comes to the job world. Patience, Shaeli. Patience.
Working Mom Act: Still no good at it. I never did have any interest in learning how to juggle objects. I don't think I have any interest in learning how to juggle responsibility. I'm more of a "do one thing, then move on" type of person. I don't have that option right now, and it's really starting to get to me. I thought leaving the kids at daycare would get easier instead of harder as time went on. Not so. I thought I would be able to become more organized with things like dinner and cleaning instead of less organized. Not so. I'm sure most of this is just because it's the holidays and things are extra crazy right now, but I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams. A piece of me needs to work. And a piece of me needs to play with the kids. And a piece of me needs to do the dishes and the laundry and vacuum. And a piece of me needs to spend time with my husband. And a piece of me needs to just blog or watch Grey's. And I can't do it. I feel like I can't do any of it. I feel like so much of me is being pulled every which way that there isn't enough of one piece to actually accomplish anything! I thought life would get easier once we were out of school and we fell into a nice work/home routine. Not so.
Of course, all this thinking spins me into a whole new line of, "How in the world would I handle furthering my education? How could I ever handle NP school or med school when I can't even handle the dishes and the screaming children??" I understand that the children won't scream forever - heaven help me if they do - but things don't stop. I'm gonna have kids for a while. I'm gonna be married for a while - heaven help me if I'm not. There will always be dishes and laundry and whatever. I know things will work out. They will. I just don't know how to do them right now.
Lucas: Talking like crazy!! The things he says lately are so cute :) He's a little monster at times, but man! He says some cute stuff. I love seeing more of his personality every day. I love watching him interact with Via, as long as he's not jumping or sitting on her. He loves her. He gets excited when he sees her in the morning. He shares with her. He gives her hugs. And he even says "sorry" after he pushes her down ;)
Via: Walking everywhere!! She's just a little person roaming my house making noise. I got Levi some work boots today and she's about the same size as the box they came in! She's teething a lot lately, so that makes her a little cranky at times, but mostly she's just a happy little one year old waddling around the house with a mullet :) She said her first word the other day - beside Mama and Dada: Elmo. It seems we have another Elmo lover on our hands!
Well, that about sums up our life during the last month. It's a good life. I'm so grateful for my little family, and all of our extended family. We just keep counting our blessings and looking forward to the future :)
Well, I finally finished the Sacrament talk I will be giving in about 9 hours. I seriously thought about it all week and couldn't decide which direction to go. Then the week just flew by and before I knew it, it was Saturday. And, of course, now that I'm done, I'm not tired... at 1 am. Go me.
There are so many things that I have been meaning to blog about lately. I keep adding them to the mental list in my head. Now that I'm writing, can I think of any that made the list?? No.
So.... I'll just write and see if I can think of them along the way ;)
Christmas: Was good. Quite. Messy. We had Christmas Eve dinner at Levi's mom's house, which was fun. Then we just had our little Christmas morning here. Somehow I managed to tear the clear covering (bulbar conjunctiva) around my eyeball. When I no longer have insurance, of course. (Between student insurance and my 90 days at my company. I start company insurance in Feb.) I could see where it actually tore, so I was freaking out a bit. But! No worries. Apparently the eye heals at superhero speed because within an hour or so it was back to normal. No more symptoms, no more tear. Weird, right?
We did take pictures and a few videos, but I'm honestly too lazy to post them right now. They should be up on Facebook soon :)
Jobs: We got a real nice heartbreak as Levi was turned down most recently for a job at Kiewit. I cried. A lot. Multiple times. I felt so good about that job, and I never really felt good about the ones before, even if I wanted him to get them. So that one was a big let down for both of us. I know people say, "There must be something better in store for you then!" Well, what if there's not? At least not in the next few years? I know, I know. Trusting in the Lord means trusting in His timing as well. I know things will look up eventually, but right now they are just a little bleak when it comes to the job world. Patience, Shaeli. Patience.
Working Mom Act: Still no good at it. I never did have any interest in learning how to juggle objects. I don't think I have any interest in learning how to juggle responsibility. I'm more of a "do one thing, then move on" type of person. I don't have that option right now, and it's really starting to get to me. I thought leaving the kids at daycare would get easier instead of harder as time went on. Not so. I thought I would be able to become more organized with things like dinner and cleaning instead of less organized. Not so. I'm sure most of this is just because it's the holidays and things are extra crazy right now, but I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams. A piece of me needs to work. And a piece of me needs to play with the kids. And a piece of me needs to do the dishes and the laundry and vacuum. And a piece of me needs to spend time with my husband. And a piece of me needs to just blog or watch Grey's. And I can't do it. I feel like I can't do any of it. I feel like so much of me is being pulled every which way that there isn't enough of one piece to actually accomplish anything! I thought life would get easier once we were out of school and we fell into a nice work/home routine. Not so.
Of course, all this thinking spins me into a whole new line of, "How in the world would I handle furthering my education? How could I ever handle NP school or med school when I can't even handle the dishes and the screaming children??" I understand that the children won't scream forever - heaven help me if they do - but things don't stop. I'm gonna have kids for a while. I'm gonna be married for a while - heaven help me if I'm not. There will always be dishes and laundry and whatever. I know things will work out. They will. I just don't know how to do them right now.
Lucas: Talking like crazy!! The things he says lately are so cute :) He's a little monster at times, but man! He says some cute stuff. I love seeing more of his personality every day. I love watching him interact with Via, as long as he's not jumping or sitting on her. He loves her. He gets excited when he sees her in the morning. He shares with her. He gives her hugs. And he even says "sorry" after he pushes her down ;)
Via: Walking everywhere!! She's just a little person roaming my house making noise. I got Levi some work boots today and she's about the same size as the box they came in! She's teething a lot lately, so that makes her a little cranky at times, but mostly she's just a happy little one year old waddling around the house with a mullet :) She said her first word the other day - beside Mama and Dada: Elmo. It seems we have another Elmo lover on our hands!
Well, that about sums up our life during the last month. It's a good life. I'm so grateful for my little family, and all of our extended family. We just keep counting our blessings and looking forward to the future :)
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
My Son, the Artist
So lately, Lucas likes to color. A lot. On everything....
Like my contact Rx...
and the floor...
and the Bumbo tray...
and my NOEL letters (don't worry, it's just the back)...
and my tests from classes. Good thing I don't need those for much anymore! I do use them once in a while to look some things up, but I can read through the scribbles ;)
♫ These are a few of my colored-on things ♫
Sunday, December 9, 2012
It's Christmastime!!!
I love Christmas. Love it! However, the decorating has been slow going compared to my Christmas excitement. First, the tree went up, then some other little decorations, finally finished my ornaments after working on them a few weekends, stockings hung, more little decorations, and finished it all off with some mistletoes yesterday. Yes, mistletoeS. If you're a Pinterester, you may know what I'm talking about. (And if you're not, there will be pictures of course!)
Crazy busy times lie behind and ahead of us. So many parties and whatnot! We went to Levi's work party last night - thanks to a good friend who was willing to babysit!! It was a good party with lots of great food!! Despite all the seafood, I actually was mostly in love with the gouda and pineapple. Yes. Weird. I may need to buy some gouda tomorrow... and maybe a pineapple if I can find one. This weekend will be crazy as well: 3, yes 3, parties on Friday; lunch, a wedding reception and another party on Saturday; and we really need to get tithing settlement done sometime on Sunday. Levi has been working late the past few Sundays so we haven't been able to get it done yet. December is just a busy month! And the kids are still little! Bring on the concerts and plays a few years down the road... ;)
I finally got a {Homemaker Day} today, which I haven't had in a while, and which also didn't really turn out :( I burned the granola - still edible, but sad - and swayed from my favorite bread recipe to try a new one which yielded bread that wouldn't rise and turned out hard. Hmph. We're running out of bread, and I don't want to buy more - because the kind I love, Dave's Killer Bread, is a little pricey - so I decided to make some today. Fail. I will get around to it later this week with my trusty honey and flaxseed recipe :) I did manage to salvage the granola with some marshmallows, making it more into granola treat pieces... sometime like that. By cooking it too long it came out way too crumbly, so the marshmallows kind of hold it together now and cover the burn flavor a bit.
Anyway, I've been meaning to blog for about a week and a half now, and I kept thinking of things to blog about, but of course I forgot by now :S I did pass my CMA exam! Yay! This resulted in a raise at work and the permission to give injections to patients as well. Double YAY!! I could give injections at school and during my internship, but not when I got hired... I understand the legalities, but I still found it slightly ironic. It's such a relief now, though, to not have to find another "nurse" to give injections to my patients! Yeah, we're all called "nurses." Patients don't care whether you're an RN, LPN, or CMA, if they have questions, they want to talk to "the midwives' nurse" (or whatever provider you work for). Just a little side note for ya!
Well, I suppose I've rambled enough for now. On to the pictures!!
Merry Christmas, everyone!! Hopefully I will get around to blogging before Christmas actually comes, but if not, that will have to do ;)
Crazy busy times lie behind and ahead of us. So many parties and whatnot! We went to Levi's work party last night - thanks to a good friend who was willing to babysit!! It was a good party with lots of great food!! Despite all the seafood, I actually was mostly in love with the gouda and pineapple. Yes. Weird. I may need to buy some gouda tomorrow... and maybe a pineapple if I can find one. This weekend will be crazy as well: 3, yes 3, parties on Friday; lunch, a wedding reception and another party on Saturday; and we really need to get tithing settlement done sometime on Sunday. Levi has been working late the past few Sundays so we haven't been able to get it done yet. December is just a busy month! And the kids are still little! Bring on the concerts and plays a few years down the road... ;)
I finally got a {Homemaker Day} today, which I haven't had in a while, and which also didn't really turn out :( I burned the granola - still edible, but sad - and swayed from my favorite bread recipe to try a new one which yielded bread that wouldn't rise and turned out hard. Hmph. We're running out of bread, and I don't want to buy more - because the kind I love, Dave's Killer Bread, is a little pricey - so I decided to make some today. Fail. I will get around to it later this week with my trusty honey and flaxseed recipe :) I did manage to salvage the granola with some marshmallows, making it more into granola treat pieces... sometime like that. By cooking it too long it came out way too crumbly, so the marshmallows kind of hold it together now and cover the burn flavor a bit.
Anyway, I've been meaning to blog for about a week and a half now, and I kept thinking of things to blog about, but of course I forgot by now :S I did pass my CMA exam! Yay! This resulted in a raise at work and the permission to give injections to patients as well. Double YAY!! I could give injections at school and during my internship, but not when I got hired... I understand the legalities, but I still found it slightly ironic. It's such a relief now, though, to not have to find another "nurse" to give injections to my patients! Yeah, we're all called "nurses." Patients don't care whether you're an RN, LPN, or CMA, if they have questions, they want to talk to "the midwives' nurse" (or whatever provider you work for). Just a little side note for ya!
Well, I suppose I've rambled enough for now. On to the pictures!!
A few of the ornaments. Wooden blocks with different names of Christ. I just hand wrote them, but am planning on jazzing them up next year with a Cricut or something.
Our stockings my amazing Mama made for all of us!
It's a large wall. I tried to fill it :/
Mistletoes :) Lucas and Via's footprints in green clay.
And this is where they hang :) You can kind of see my little ornament/cupcake stand tree on the table. Thank you, Pinterest, once again!
Oh, that's just Via sitting on the wrapping paper box trying to decide what to read next. She wouldn't let go of that blanket the other night!
The lights I made for Via's birthday that I finally got hung up yesterday... and decorated with pink and purple ornaments today! I bought the ornaments last year to take her baby pictures with but never got around to it :(
Hung some lights in our room as well tonight :) Not the best pic... I was playing around with ISO and time, but this was all I had patience for ;) And Lucas wanted to lay down by Daddy after he came home, so he made him.
And my {NO_L}. I promise, the E is around here somewhere...
Merry Christmas, everyone!! Hopefully I will get around to blogging before Christmas actually comes, but if not, that will have to do ;)
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