What a crazy month it was! Where did it go??
I thought I would follow up on my little goals for each month that I had set. Just to warn you, it didn't go extremely well haha!
Save $10 each month - This I did do. There is money in our savings account, but we did use the credit cards during January, so I'm not sure it really counts...
Read one book each month - I did do this! I finished a book at the beginning of the month and then read two more. I have also started my February book and am really enjoying it! I will post on it when I am done... sometime by the end of the month ;)
Read 10 verses each day - I was doing pretty well at a chapter a day, but then I started to wane. I need to get back on it. It's been a good two weeks since I've read, I think :/
Work out 3 times each week - I've done at least two times each week with my mother-in-law and usually one on my own on the weekends. 5 am is early! I do take the stairs at work when I go down to the cafeteria for lunch. Does that count??
Drink {more} water - I have been much better about drinking water! I feel like I drink it constantly at work and have been drinking more at home. This week I had some sprite and cranberry juice (with raspberries...healthier??) at a couple of parties we had at our house, but I believe that's the first time I've had soda this year. If you know me and my soda habit, that's a feat!
Eat healthier - Ah, the clean eating.... We were doing so well the first two-ish weeks. I've kind of fallen off the wagon with it. The main goal was 1 serving of veggies a day. For the most part, I've gotten those in. There were maybe a few days in the last few weeks that I didn't get any vegetables. Clean eating is hard. For me, at least. The moment came at "that time of the month" (sorry, tmi) when I inhaled almost two big macs. Yeah. Defeated by a secret sauce. I've been somewhere in the middle since then. Still shooting for healthier things, but the intensity died :( Beside the big mac fiasco, we haven't done fast food much at all. A mcmuffin yesterday morning. And it was delicious. That's all. So.... it's getting better.
Meditate - I always forget about this one. No, I'm not great at personal prayer. I should be by now. We do really well with nighttime family prayers, and I'm trying to get us into the habit of morning family prayer since we've all been up together the last few days, but it's the habit-making that's the hard part. It's hit and miss with this one still.
Well, there you have it. Not as great as I had hoped. I will just try a little harder. That's about all I can do, I suppose.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Quality vs Quantity
I finally figured it out... The secret to this whole working mom thing. At least for me. Quality vs quantity. Duh, right?
I got off work early yesterday, but the kids were already planning on being in daycare since Levi worked at 2. Well, if you have ever tried to clean the house with kids, you know why I still took them to daycare and came home to clean. It's amazing how much I can get done without two little midgets running around undoing everything! It was amazing! My house looks amazing!! (And it's still clean this morning!!) And, if you know me, a clean home puts me in a good mood :) It was a disaster the whole week. Levi has been keeping up on the dishes - love him <3 - but not much else got done. I was absolutely unmotivated this weekend. Exhausted. So the house stayed a mess. A big mess. Until yesterday :)
The kids had been home all morning with Levi, so it's not like they were there all day - if they had already been there all morning, I don't think I would have left them in. I know Levi hates the shifts he works, but it's nice that the kids do get to stay home more with at least one of us. We also pay for up to 25 hours a week no matter what - the part time rate - and they are only in 12 hours this week (including yesterday). It has been like this for a few weeks now. I figure, if we're paying almost $600 a month for daycare, I might as well use it! My ultimate reasoning for still taking them while I was not working was this: They could either spend 6 hours with me as I try to clean - and we'd probably all end up grumpy, or I can spend 3 hours cleaning while they play with friend and then bring them home to play with me, which is what we did! We played with blocks, had a tickling war, ate dinner while watching "Letters" (Wheel of Fortune), and cuddled, per Lucas's request. (He wants to cuddle more lately, and I love it!!)
If I could stay home, cleaning would still be hard with kids, but I figure I would have most of the day to do it - or at least more than I do now. I know there's still juggling that goes on when Mom gets to be home, but it feels a little harder to juggle everything else when I'm at work 9 hours a day. Kids-free cleaning is the way I am able to juggle it all. Whether I have Grandma watch them for a few hours or send them to the daycare that we've already paid for - Grandma is very busy - this is what works for me. You have to find out what works for you, and don't let anyone bring you down because of it. (I mention it at work and sometimes get a little flack for it. Whatev.) I would much rather spend 3 great hours with my babies than 6 stressful, juggled hours. So that's exactly what I did :)
I got off work early yesterday, but the kids were already planning on being in daycare since Levi worked at 2. Well, if you have ever tried to clean the house with kids, you know why I still took them to daycare and came home to clean. It's amazing how much I can get done without two little midgets running around undoing everything! It was amazing! My house looks amazing!! (And it's still clean this morning!!) And, if you know me, a clean home puts me in a good mood :) It was a disaster the whole week. Levi has been keeping up on the dishes - love him <3 - but not much else got done. I was absolutely unmotivated this weekend. Exhausted. So the house stayed a mess. A big mess. Until yesterday :)
The kids had been home all morning with Levi, so it's not like they were there all day - if they had already been there all morning, I don't think I would have left them in. I know Levi hates the shifts he works, but it's nice that the kids do get to stay home more with at least one of us. We also pay for up to 25 hours a week no matter what - the part time rate - and they are only in 12 hours this week (including yesterday). It has been like this for a few weeks now. I figure, if we're paying almost $600 a month for daycare, I might as well use it! My ultimate reasoning for still taking them while I was not working was this: They could either spend 6 hours with me as I try to clean - and we'd probably all end up grumpy, or I can spend 3 hours cleaning while they play with friend and then bring them home to play with me, which is what we did! We played with blocks, had a tickling war, ate dinner while watching "Letters" (Wheel of Fortune), and cuddled, per Lucas's request. (He wants to cuddle more lately, and I love it!!)
If I could stay home, cleaning would still be hard with kids, but I figure I would have most of the day to do it - or at least more than I do now. I know there's still juggling that goes on when Mom gets to be home, but it feels a little harder to juggle everything else when I'm at work 9 hours a day. Kids-free cleaning is the way I am able to juggle it all. Whether I have Grandma watch them for a few hours or send them to the daycare that we've already paid for - Grandma is very busy - this is what works for me. You have to find out what works for you, and don't let anyone bring you down because of it. (I mention it at work and sometimes get a little flack for it. Whatev.) I would much rather spend 3 great hours with my babies than 6 stressful, juggled hours. So that's exactly what I did :)
Monday, January 21, 2013
First Week Down!
One week down for the clean eating challenge :) Anyone join us? How did you do?? We did pretty well! I thought it was going to be incredibly hard... it's only just a little hard ;) I had to catch myself just a few times from eating the kids' mac and cheese. Maybe three times this week I had something from the not-super-healthy category, but still not incredibly horrible: battered shrimp when we went out on a date on Wednesday, mayo in the tuna things we had last night since I didn't have any greek yogurt, and I think there was something else earlier... All in all, it went really well!
I put some oatmeal in the crock pot last night for breakfast, which turned out pretty good. Levi and I also made these energy balls - found on my Pinterest food board - that turned out amazing! I didn't think they would taste as good as they do! I'm taking about half to work, and I'm sure I'll have to make more tonight since Levi was already nibbling at them last night ;) They are made with oats, flaxseed, honey, coconut, natural peanut butter (I actually had natural, you can use any kind), and whatever else you want to throw in! (It called for sunflower seeds, but Levi finished those off the other day, so the only ones I have left are at my office; I will be bringing them home for the second batch!) I highly recommend these if you are looking for a healthy, hopefully-energy-boosting snack!
My friend and I started walking/running this morning. Yes, in the cold. And it was COLD! I may need to get a gym membership so we can be indoors! It was great, though. I loved having someone to talk to while working out! My body is still trying to figure out what I'm doing, though, I think. I haven't worked out much at all, and not continuously - 3 weeks ha! - in 7 years! Yes. It's sad. So, I'm still tired and adjusting, but I'm loving it! I do feel much better, even when I'm exhausted! Why it took me this long to decide to really get back in shape?... oh, yeah. We have two kids 2 and under. That'll do it!
Well, here's to another week of getting healthy and fit!!
I put some oatmeal in the crock pot last night for breakfast, which turned out pretty good. Levi and I also made these energy balls - found on my Pinterest food board - that turned out amazing! I didn't think they would taste as good as they do! I'm taking about half to work, and I'm sure I'll have to make more tonight since Levi was already nibbling at them last night ;) They are made with oats, flaxseed, honey, coconut, natural peanut butter (I actually had natural, you can use any kind), and whatever else you want to throw in! (It called for sunflower seeds, but Levi finished those off the other day, so the only ones I have left are at my office; I will be bringing them home for the second batch!) I highly recommend these if you are looking for a healthy, hopefully-energy-boosting snack!
My friend and I started walking/running this morning. Yes, in the cold. And it was COLD! I may need to get a gym membership so we can be indoors! It was great, though. I loved having someone to talk to while working out! My body is still trying to figure out what I'm doing, though, I think. I haven't worked out much at all, and not continuously - 3 weeks ha! - in 7 years! Yes. It's sad. So, I'm still tired and adjusting, but I'm loving it! I do feel much better, even when I'm exhausted! Why it took me this long to decide to really get back in shape?... oh, yeah. We have two kids 2 and under. That'll do it!
Well, here's to another week of getting healthy and fit!!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
January's Book: Baby Catcher
I recently finished a book called Baby Catcher - it was my book for January. It's one that the Midwives lend out to patients. It tells the story of one woman on her journey through her midwifery start and career. It is inspiring, even if you have no interest in midwifery. However, it made me take a second look at it as a career choice for myself, but mostly it just made me want to give birth!
At times I feel a little cheated that I didn't get to experience labor and delivery the way most women do - some of you may think I'm crazy, that's okay. With an easy labor up until I had my pleasant c-sections, I never got to experience what women were made to do, what our bodies were made to do. (This is purely from a reproductive standpoint; I agree women were made to do more than just have babies.) So, the book made me a little sad. It also made me wonder if we will ever have a chance to experience things later that we didn't get to here. Not sinful stuff, of course, but things like this. I hope so. Even if we do have more babies, I doubt I would ever be allowed or able to give birth naturally.
Also, as I mentioned earlier, it made me think about my future. Where in the world do I want to up - career wise? When I was younger, I always wanted to be a pediatric cardiologist, just like the amazing Dr. Judd whom I saw for my first decade. But now, many things are appealing to me - and, in contrast, 10 more years of school is not super appealing to me.
When Lucas was in the NICU, I started thinking about neonatology. And, now that I'm working with midwives, that also doesn't seem like a bad idea at all. I just don't know. But, that's the thing... I don't have to know. I don't have to have it all figured out right now. When I was in high school, I thought I had to, and I thought I did, but I had no idea. I still have no idea. Right now, I'm very happy with my career choice. I really love my job. And that's good enough for now.
I do know I want to go onto something someday. Nursing first, probably. But from nursing I would have many options: midwifery, nurse practitioner, even med school. The plan is for our babies to start school before I start school again, though. So, I have a little while :)
Speaking of babies. Motherhood is interesting. I finally feel like I'm falling into it well. I always thought I would be a good mom, and I knew it would be hard, but I had no idea how hard. And it's really not the kids. It's me. I'm always saying my kids are crazy, and they are, but they're supposed to me. It's our job to remain as un-crazy as possible while raising them. Being a working mom started out super rough. I'm finally falling into that as well. The time I do get to spend with them is now rare and precious, so we make it worth it (most days). In some ways, being a working mother is actually making me a better mother.
Motherhood, for me at least, also brings with it guilt. So much guilt. (Is this normal??) A little guilt from everyday things like feeding them mac and cheese instead of veggies, but mostly it comes from the strong mothers who no longer have their babies. It tears me up thinking that I was lucky enough to have two healthy babies where others, whom you can tell would make amazing mothers, have lost one or two or more... I see miscarriage in the clinic all the time. It rips at my heart. But... it also inspires me in a way: It inspires me to be a better mother to the ones I have. So, thank you (probably not the right sentiment), to all of you amazing, strong women who have suffered in a way that many of us could not understand.
This wave crashed over me last night as I was putting Lucas to bed. He's a little under the weather, so he let me cuddle him and sing to him without thrashing and kicking ;) We just stood in his room in the dark while I sang and then suddenly burst into tears over the privilege of having him in our home. And as I cried, he asked, "Mama, okay?? Mama, sad?" Which, of course, led me into another round of tears over the thought of how quickly he is growing up... It was an emotional bed time ;)
Well, this mama has to get ready for work now. I just wanted to share my spin off of thoughts from my 'one book a month' goal :) Happy Thursday, everyone!
At times I feel a little cheated that I didn't get to experience labor and delivery the way most women do - some of you may think I'm crazy, that's okay. With an easy labor up until I had my pleasant c-sections, I never got to experience what women were made to do, what our bodies were made to do. (This is purely from a reproductive standpoint; I agree women were made to do more than just have babies.) So, the book made me a little sad. It also made me wonder if we will ever have a chance to experience things later that we didn't get to here. Not sinful stuff, of course, but things like this. I hope so. Even if we do have more babies, I doubt I would ever be allowed or able to give birth naturally.
Also, as I mentioned earlier, it made me think about my future. Where in the world do I want to up - career wise? When I was younger, I always wanted to be a pediatric cardiologist, just like the amazing Dr. Judd whom I saw for my first decade. But now, many things are appealing to me - and, in contrast, 10 more years of school is not super appealing to me.
When Lucas was in the NICU, I started thinking about neonatology. And, now that I'm working with midwives, that also doesn't seem like a bad idea at all. I just don't know. But, that's the thing... I don't have to know. I don't have to have it all figured out right now. When I was in high school, I thought I had to, and I thought I did, but I had no idea. I still have no idea. Right now, I'm very happy with my career choice. I really love my job. And that's good enough for now.
I do know I want to go onto something someday. Nursing first, probably. But from nursing I would have many options: midwifery, nurse practitioner, even med school. The plan is for our babies to start school before I start school again, though. So, I have a little while :)
Speaking of babies. Motherhood is interesting. I finally feel like I'm falling into it well. I always thought I would be a good mom, and I knew it would be hard, but I had no idea how hard. And it's really not the kids. It's me. I'm always saying my kids are crazy, and they are, but they're supposed to me. It's our job to remain as un-crazy as possible while raising them. Being a working mom started out super rough. I'm finally falling into that as well. The time I do get to spend with them is now rare and precious, so we make it worth it (most days). In some ways, being a working mother is actually making me a better mother.
Motherhood, for me at least, also brings with it guilt. So much guilt. (Is this normal??) A little guilt from everyday things like feeding them mac and cheese instead of veggies, but mostly it comes from the strong mothers who no longer have their babies. It tears me up thinking that I was lucky enough to have two healthy babies where others, whom you can tell would make amazing mothers, have lost one or two or more... I see miscarriage in the clinic all the time. It rips at my heart. But... it also inspires me in a way: It inspires me to be a better mother to the ones I have. So, thank you (probably not the right sentiment), to all of you amazing, strong women who have suffered in a way that many of us could not understand.
This wave crashed over me last night as I was putting Lucas to bed. He's a little under the weather, so he let me cuddle him and sing to him without thrashing and kicking ;) We just stood in his room in the dark while I sang and then suddenly burst into tears over the privilege of having him in our home. And as I cried, he asked, "Mama, okay?? Mama, sad?" Which, of course, led me into another round of tears over the thought of how quickly he is growing up... It was an emotional bed time ;)
Well, this mama has to get ready for work now. I just wanted to share my spin off of thoughts from my 'one book a month' goal :) Happy Thursday, everyone!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Clean Eating
Starting tomorrow. For 1 month! Until Valentine's Day... then we will treat ourselves to a nice Valentine's dinner - probably take out from somewhere after the kids go to sleep ha! Levi and I will be doing mainly fruits, veggies, healthy snacks like nuts, cheese, yogurt, dark chocolate is allowed ;)... Really just healthy foods instead of the junk I have become acquired to aka McDonald's, EasyMac, cookies!!!, etc. Yeah. And I just made 2 dozen Andes cookies last night. So sad. Levi will be taking the rest to work tomorrow :) I was going to call it a detox diet, but it's really nothing like some of those detoxes on the market/Pinterest. This is my way of detoxing from all the crap, though.
I need a big change. An all-around change. And I'm starting to make it happen. I'm getting the house organized, I'm working out... and I feel great! I don't know what it was - probably a combination of stress, life changes, and crazy kids (love them) - but the last part of 2012 was not super great. I'm determined to make this whole year much better! I'm going to be better. I need it.
It's funny because I've never really been into the whole "New Year Resolution" thing in the past. I figured out a long time ago that I usually just do what I do and keep it that way. Well, it caught up with me ;) Who I was being was not cutting it. It's time for a change, and what better time to start than now? A new, fresh year with an encouraging future!
So, who's with me?? No real rules to this diet. I do call it a diet since it is a particular selection of food - that you can determine or bend from mine - and really a diet is just the food you consume. Like, my diet these last few months has been horrible! I would love some more healthy suggestions and ideas for meals and snacks!
My kids aren't going completely "clean" with us. We will have much healthier food in the house and will get a bunch of it, but Lucas still loves his mac and cheese and 'quitos'. And, let's face it, after a long day at work with all of us tired, it's much easier to throw a taquito in the microwave instead of cooking up a whole meal. There's chicken, and cheese, and tortilla....? The kids eat pretty healthy at daycare, so I'm not worried about them yet ;) One step at a time.
Random insert - I will be adding cinnamon supplements as well. I can't believe the benefits cinnamon has! Lower cholesterol, regulate blood sugar, anti-bacterial, brain function, a source of fiber, iron, and calcium. I would also love to know if there are any supplements you swear by! I've been looking into CoenzymeQ-10... opinions??
Well, good luck to us! Let's make this a great year!!
I need a big change. An all-around change. And I'm starting to make it happen. I'm getting the house organized, I'm working out... and I feel great! I don't know what it was - probably a combination of stress, life changes, and crazy kids (love them) - but the last part of 2012 was not super great. I'm determined to make this whole year much better! I'm going to be better. I need it.
It's funny because I've never really been into the whole "New Year Resolution" thing in the past. I figured out a long time ago that I usually just do what I do and keep it that way. Well, it caught up with me ;) Who I was being was not cutting it. It's time for a change, and what better time to start than now? A new, fresh year with an encouraging future!
So, who's with me?? No real rules to this diet. I do call it a diet since it is a particular selection of food - that you can determine or bend from mine - and really a diet is just the food you consume. Like, my diet these last few months has been horrible! I would love some more healthy suggestions and ideas for meals and snacks!
My kids aren't going completely "clean" with us. We will have much healthier food in the house and will get a bunch of it, but Lucas still loves his mac and cheese and 'quitos'. And, let's face it, after a long day at work with all of us tired, it's much easier to throw a taquito in the microwave instead of cooking up a whole meal. There's chicken, and cheese, and tortilla....? The kids eat pretty healthy at daycare, so I'm not worried about them yet ;) One step at a time.
Random insert - I will be adding cinnamon supplements as well. I can't believe the benefits cinnamon has! Lower cholesterol, regulate blood sugar, anti-bacterial, brain function, a source of fiber, iron, and calcium. I would also love to know if there are any supplements you swear by! I've been looking into CoenzymeQ-10... opinions??
Well, good luck to us! Let's make this a great year!!
Sunday, December 30, 2012
The Stigma
I've been debating for a while now whether to post/vent about this. I've come to the conclusion that it's my blog! I can write what I want! If you don't like it, you don't have to read it ;)
The Welfare Stigma.
I hate it. I'm sure most of you knew/suspected that our little family received assistance - sounds better than way haha! - while we were going to school. I don't want to get into the whole, "Well, don't have kids while you're in college then!" thing. Meh. Probably wasn't the smartest idea, but I believe when and how many children a couple decides to have is between them and the Lord. I also believe welfare programs are designed to help those in need, even if those in need are college kids who decide to throw a couple kids in the mix. I always felt the need to defend myself in some way when using my food stamp card or talking about it with someone. I still do, actually! And you'll see them throughout the post.
My defense was always, "Well, we are trying to better our lives. We will graduate. We will get jobs. We pay our taxes. Blah. Blah. Blah." So, we bettered our lives. We got educations. We got jobs. We pay our taxes. And, now for a semi-vent, we make $300/year too much to qualify. Yes. Per year, not per month. $300/yr does not buy food for a family of 4. Now, why it's only a semi-vent: Ever since we've been on assistance I've disliked the fact and looked forward to the day when we could be self-sufficient. Reason: the stigma. I loathe the welfare stigma. It's there for a reason, but I did not feel like we were a part of that reason, not completely. In some ways, yes, but I still feel too guilty to get into that part ;)
I'm sure many of you have seen the memes and the posters. "If you can afford beer, drugs, cigarettes, manicures, and tattoos - you don't need food stamps or welfare" or "I went to sign my dog up for welfare. They said he's not eligible. I said he's lazy, unemployed, and doesn't know his daddy. He gets his check next week." Albeit slightly amusing, they cut those of us that did get the occasional manicure and bought pretty nice gifts this year with tax returns. I can try to spin it a number of ways, but bottom line is we could have lived with much less. We could have gone without a lot of things. Welfare was never intended to be a career opportunity, and we never expected it to be. But the memes. I hate them. I really think we should just get rid of them. They only make those that need the system feel badly. And those that abuse it, well, do you really think they're going to change because they saw a poster on Facebook??
In my opinion, there are two classes of people using assistance: Those that splurge once in a while when they can (tax returns, birthday money, etc.) knowing the fun will come to an end when they no longer need assistance, and those whose lifestyle is a splurge with no intention of becoming self reliant.
This issue became hard for me as I started working. In Rexburg, more than half of us that were pregnant were also on Medicaid. If you were a student, you had to have primary insurance, so Medicaid was actually secondary for most (and $168,000 in NICU charges later, I'm glad it was!!). Many going to school with kids were on food stamps. I personally didn't see a whole lot of chronic system abuse at BYU-I, not to say there wasn't any. And... I am in NO way saying that I think everyone I see in the clinic on Medicaid is abusing the system. I'm fully aware that we still live in a college town. Aaaand.... I really try very, very hard not to judge anyone in the clinic. However, I do see the occasional person that could fit the stigma - I won't go into detail. Now, whether they really are abusing the system or not isn't even the issue to me. I know there are those out there that do, hence the stigma. But just the possibility of it being someone I'm taking a blood pressure on hits close to home. And at that point, it feels almost as if we are being punished for being honest. I've always been super honest on our forms, and now that we make $300/year too much to qualify, we are scraping up $575/month for daycare.
Times get tough. I get it. I'm glad we have a welfare system in place. But I think it needs an extreme makeover! We were receiving so much more than we really needed each month in food stamps. We would have done just fine on half. So we built up our food storage and we would buy food for friends (shhh!). If the government cut everyone's allowance by just $100 it would help our national budget immensely! Food stamp living is comfortable! We would always have enough for treats, soda, seafood if we wanted... It needs to be restrictive, in my opinion. Welfare shouldn't be comfortable. You shouldn't be able to buy soda, cakes, and individually packaged sugar rushes. This, I believe, would help our national obesity crisis. When you only have a certain amount of money to spend on food, and it's limited, you don't buy copious amounts of stuff like that. Well, hopefully not. And the drug testing! That needs to take effect everywhere asap, I think. That is one poster I fully agree with: "You should have to pass a drug test for a welfare check if I have to pass one to earn it for you." P.s. I agreed with it while on welfare, not just now that I have a job haha!
Well, there's my rant since I was on a writing kick ;)
The Welfare Stigma.
I hate it. I'm sure most of you knew/suspected that our little family received assistance - sounds better than way haha! - while we were going to school. I don't want to get into the whole, "Well, don't have kids while you're in college then!" thing. Meh. Probably wasn't the smartest idea, but I believe when and how many children a couple decides to have is between them and the Lord. I also believe welfare programs are designed to help those in need, even if those in need are college kids who decide to throw a couple kids in the mix. I always felt the need to defend myself in some way when using my food stamp card or talking about it with someone. I still do, actually! And you'll see them throughout the post.
My defense was always, "Well, we are trying to better our lives. We will graduate. We will get jobs. We pay our taxes. Blah. Blah. Blah." So, we bettered our lives. We got educations. We got jobs. We pay our taxes. And, now for a semi-vent, we make $300/year too much to qualify. Yes. Per year, not per month. $300/yr does not buy food for a family of 4. Now, why it's only a semi-vent: Ever since we've been on assistance I've disliked the fact and looked forward to the day when we could be self-sufficient. Reason: the stigma. I loathe the welfare stigma. It's there for a reason, but I did not feel like we were a part of that reason, not completely. In some ways, yes, but I still feel too guilty to get into that part ;)
I'm sure many of you have seen the memes and the posters. "If you can afford beer, drugs, cigarettes, manicures, and tattoos - you don't need food stamps or welfare" or "I went to sign my dog up for welfare. They said he's not eligible. I said he's lazy, unemployed, and doesn't know his daddy. He gets his check next week." Albeit slightly amusing, they cut those of us that did get the occasional manicure and bought pretty nice gifts this year with tax returns. I can try to spin it a number of ways, but bottom line is we could have lived with much less. We could have gone without a lot of things. Welfare was never intended to be a career opportunity, and we never expected it to be. But the memes. I hate them. I really think we should just get rid of them. They only make those that need the system feel badly. And those that abuse it, well, do you really think they're going to change because they saw a poster on Facebook??
In my opinion, there are two classes of people using assistance: Those that splurge once in a while when they can (tax returns, birthday money, etc.) knowing the fun will come to an end when they no longer need assistance, and those whose lifestyle is a splurge with no intention of becoming self reliant.
This issue became hard for me as I started working. In Rexburg, more than half of us that were pregnant were also on Medicaid. If you were a student, you had to have primary insurance, so Medicaid was actually secondary for most (and $168,000 in NICU charges later, I'm glad it was!!). Many going to school with kids were on food stamps. I personally didn't see a whole lot of chronic system abuse at BYU-I, not to say there wasn't any. And... I am in NO way saying that I think everyone I see in the clinic on Medicaid is abusing the system. I'm fully aware that we still live in a college town. Aaaand.... I really try very, very hard not to judge anyone in the clinic. However, I do see the occasional person that could fit the stigma - I won't go into detail. Now, whether they really are abusing the system or not isn't even the issue to me. I know there are those out there that do, hence the stigma. But just the possibility of it being someone I'm taking a blood pressure on hits close to home. And at that point, it feels almost as if we are being punished for being honest. I've always been super honest on our forms, and now that we make $300/year too much to qualify, we are scraping up $575/month for daycare.
Times get tough. I get it. I'm glad we have a welfare system in place. But I think it needs an extreme makeover! We were receiving so much more than we really needed each month in food stamps. We would have done just fine on half. So we built up our food storage and we would buy food for friends (shhh!). If the government cut everyone's allowance by just $100 it would help our national budget immensely! Food stamp living is comfortable! We would always have enough for treats, soda, seafood if we wanted... It needs to be restrictive, in my opinion. Welfare shouldn't be comfortable. You shouldn't be able to buy soda, cakes, and individually packaged sugar rushes. This, I believe, would help our national obesity crisis. When you only have a certain amount of money to spend on food, and it's limited, you don't buy copious amounts of stuff like that. Well, hopefully not. And the drug testing! That needs to take effect everywhere asap, I think. That is one poster I fully agree with: "You should have to pass a drug test for a welfare check if I have to pass one to earn it for you." P.s. I agreed with it while on welfare, not just now that I have a job haha!
Well, there's my rant since I was on a writing kick ;)
Updates
Once again, way too long since I last blogged. Can you tell we've been a little crazy lately??
Well, I finally finished the Sacrament talk I will be giving in about 9 hours. I seriously thought about it all week and couldn't decide which direction to go. Then the week just flew by and before I knew it, it was Saturday. And, of course, now that I'm done, I'm not tired... at 1 am. Go me.
There are so many things that I have been meaning to blog about lately. I keep adding them to the mental list in my head. Now that I'm writing, can I think of any that made the list?? No.
So.... I'll just write and see if I can think of them along the way ;)
Christmas: Was good. Quite. Messy. We had Christmas Eve dinner at Levi's mom's house, which was fun. Then we just had our little Christmas morning here. Somehow I managed to tear the clear covering (bulbar conjunctiva) around my eyeball. When I no longer have insurance, of course. (Between student insurance and my 90 days at my company. I start company insurance in Feb.) I could see where it actually tore, so I was freaking out a bit. But! No worries. Apparently the eye heals at superhero speed because within an hour or so it was back to normal. No more symptoms, no more tear. Weird, right?
We did take pictures and a few videos, but I'm honestly too lazy to post them right now. They should be up on Facebook soon :)
Jobs: We got a real nice heartbreak as Levi was turned down most recently for a job at Kiewit. I cried. A lot. Multiple times. I felt so good about that job, and I never really felt good about the ones before, even if I wanted him to get them. So that one was a big let down for both of us. I know people say, "There must be something better in store for you then!" Well, what if there's not? At least not in the next few years? I know, I know. Trusting in the Lord means trusting in His timing as well. I know things will look up eventually, but right now they are just a little bleak when it comes to the job world. Patience, Shaeli. Patience.
Working Mom Act: Still no good at it. I never did have any interest in learning how to juggle objects. I don't think I have any interest in learning how to juggle responsibility. I'm more of a "do one thing, then move on" type of person. I don't have that option right now, and it's really starting to get to me. I thought leaving the kids at daycare would get easier instead of harder as time went on. Not so. I thought I would be able to become more organized with things like dinner and cleaning instead of less organized. Not so. I'm sure most of this is just because it's the holidays and things are extra crazy right now, but I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams. A piece of me needs to work. And a piece of me needs to play with the kids. And a piece of me needs to do the dishes and the laundry and vacuum. And a piece of me needs to spend time with my husband. And a piece of me needs to just blog or watch Grey's. And I can't do it. I feel like I can't do any of it. I feel like so much of me is being pulled every which way that there isn't enough of one piece to actually accomplish anything! I thought life would get easier once we were out of school and we fell into a nice work/home routine. Not so.
Of course, all this thinking spins me into a whole new line of, "How in the world would I handle furthering my education? How could I ever handle NP school or med school when I can't even handle the dishes and the screaming children??" I understand that the children won't scream forever - heaven help me if they do - but things don't stop. I'm gonna have kids for a while. I'm gonna be married for a while - heaven help me if I'm not. There will always be dishes and laundry and whatever. I know things will work out. They will. I just don't know how to do them right now.
Lucas: Talking like crazy!! The things he says lately are so cute :) He's a little monster at times, but man! He says some cute stuff. I love seeing more of his personality every day. I love watching him interact with Via, as long as he's not jumping or sitting on her. He loves her. He gets excited when he sees her in the morning. He shares with her. He gives her hugs. And he even says "sorry" after he pushes her down ;)
Via: Walking everywhere!! She's just a little person roaming my house making noise. I got Levi some work boots today and she's about the same size as the box they came in! She's teething a lot lately, so that makes her a little cranky at times, but mostly she's just a happy little one year old waddling around the house with a mullet :) She said her first word the other day - beside Mama and Dada: Elmo. It seems we have another Elmo lover on our hands!
Well, that about sums up our life during the last month. It's a good life. I'm so grateful for my little family, and all of our extended family. We just keep counting our blessings and looking forward to the future :)
Well, I finally finished the Sacrament talk I will be giving in about 9 hours. I seriously thought about it all week and couldn't decide which direction to go. Then the week just flew by and before I knew it, it was Saturday. And, of course, now that I'm done, I'm not tired... at 1 am. Go me.
There are so many things that I have been meaning to blog about lately. I keep adding them to the mental list in my head. Now that I'm writing, can I think of any that made the list?? No.
So.... I'll just write and see if I can think of them along the way ;)
Christmas: Was good. Quite. Messy. We had Christmas Eve dinner at Levi's mom's house, which was fun. Then we just had our little Christmas morning here. Somehow I managed to tear the clear covering (bulbar conjunctiva) around my eyeball. When I no longer have insurance, of course. (Between student insurance and my 90 days at my company. I start company insurance in Feb.) I could see where it actually tore, so I was freaking out a bit. But! No worries. Apparently the eye heals at superhero speed because within an hour or so it was back to normal. No more symptoms, no more tear. Weird, right?
We did take pictures and a few videos, but I'm honestly too lazy to post them right now. They should be up on Facebook soon :)
Jobs: We got a real nice heartbreak as Levi was turned down most recently for a job at Kiewit. I cried. A lot. Multiple times. I felt so good about that job, and I never really felt good about the ones before, even if I wanted him to get them. So that one was a big let down for both of us. I know people say, "There must be something better in store for you then!" Well, what if there's not? At least not in the next few years? I know, I know. Trusting in the Lord means trusting in His timing as well. I know things will look up eventually, but right now they are just a little bleak when it comes to the job world. Patience, Shaeli. Patience.
Working Mom Act: Still no good at it. I never did have any interest in learning how to juggle objects. I don't think I have any interest in learning how to juggle responsibility. I'm more of a "do one thing, then move on" type of person. I don't have that option right now, and it's really starting to get to me. I thought leaving the kids at daycare would get easier instead of harder as time went on. Not so. I thought I would be able to become more organized with things like dinner and cleaning instead of less organized. Not so. I'm sure most of this is just because it's the holidays and things are extra crazy right now, but I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams. A piece of me needs to work. And a piece of me needs to play with the kids. And a piece of me needs to do the dishes and the laundry and vacuum. And a piece of me needs to spend time with my husband. And a piece of me needs to just blog or watch Grey's. And I can't do it. I feel like I can't do any of it. I feel like so much of me is being pulled every which way that there isn't enough of one piece to actually accomplish anything! I thought life would get easier once we were out of school and we fell into a nice work/home routine. Not so.
Of course, all this thinking spins me into a whole new line of, "How in the world would I handle furthering my education? How could I ever handle NP school or med school when I can't even handle the dishes and the screaming children??" I understand that the children won't scream forever - heaven help me if they do - but things don't stop. I'm gonna have kids for a while. I'm gonna be married for a while - heaven help me if I'm not. There will always be dishes and laundry and whatever. I know things will work out. They will. I just don't know how to do them right now.
Lucas: Talking like crazy!! The things he says lately are so cute :) He's a little monster at times, but man! He says some cute stuff. I love seeing more of his personality every day. I love watching him interact with Via, as long as he's not jumping or sitting on her. He loves her. He gets excited when he sees her in the morning. He shares with her. He gives her hugs. And he even says "sorry" after he pushes her down ;)
Via: Walking everywhere!! She's just a little person roaming my house making noise. I got Levi some work boots today and she's about the same size as the box they came in! She's teething a lot lately, so that makes her a little cranky at times, but mostly she's just a happy little one year old waddling around the house with a mullet :) She said her first word the other day - beside Mama and Dada: Elmo. It seems we have another Elmo lover on our hands!
Well, that about sums up our life during the last month. It's a good life. I'm so grateful for my little family, and all of our extended family. We just keep counting our blessings and looking forward to the future :)
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