Do you ever have those moments when you just think, "How in the heck did I get here??" Some days I swear I was just in high school yesterday. I'm sure I've said that before, but the feeling is still there once in a while. Time goes by so quickly that I have to snap myself back to reality and remind myself that I'm growing up. Whether I like it or not. It just keeps happening... It's official.
Today I had one of those snap-back moments. Every now and then at my externship I actually do feel like I'm in high school again doing clinical rotations. I don't have my kids around, I stand there watching procedures and what not... Most of the time I'm actually doing stuff, so it's not the same feeling, but every now and again, I'm 18 again just watching professionals work wondering what I will be doing ten years down the road. Well, guess what. I'm halfway there. Five years later, I'm actually in the medical field. I'm not in med school, I'm not in nursing school - not yet - but I'm in the field. And it becomes more real each time I give a patient an injection or assist with a procedure. Sometimes it seems like it took me forever to get here - 5 years after high school to become a CMA is not ideal, but whatever - most of the time, though, time has just flown by. And all of a sudden I'm responsible for getting up, getting kids up, taking them to daycare, and going to an "almost" job (then of course there is the coming home part, making dinner, bathing kids, getting them to bed, etc.).
An "almost" job. Yep. This was my snap-back moment: Yesterday while waiting for the patient to arrive for her tubal, I was chatting my the Dr. (my personal doctor, Dr. Jacobs). He was asking me when I finish and if I am looking for a job. I told him "no, not really." He sounded surprised. I told him the story... We aren't exactly settled, Levi is still looking for jobs anywhere (not as much as before, but still applying when one comes up), so we aren't sure exactly how long we will be here. I'm hoping we are here for a few years at least (I'm so sick of moving). I told this to the head administrator of the clinic as well, and I know that is his reservation on hiring me for a CMA position that is open in the clinic. Apparently it's a not a problem for Dr. Jacobs. While I was working with him today he asked me if I would consider working part-time. He explained that he may be needing a CMA in his office part-time if he decides to take on more patient/clinic work. (The clinic wants him to become a partner, actually, and he said the only way he would is if he could hire another part-time assistant.) I said I would absolutely be happy to work for him! I could get some experience but not have to be away from the kids all the time. It can be hard to get a job if you take a bunch of time off after school, so I figure it would be a good opportunity :) Then it hit me. I could have an actual job soon. A job with actual responsibilities and benefits and all that (maybe not benefits for part-time, but you get the idea?). A job that you get only after you have trained and gone to school to learn how to do. I'm growing up again. And it's weird and scary and exciting and surreal.
Side note: I told Jason, the hiring/admin guy, that I would be happy to work fill-in for the other position if they hadn't found anyone by the end of my externship. That would give me some experience, but it's not a super committed position, so it wouldn't be so bad if we were to just up and leave on short notice.
Anyway, so Dr. Jacobs said he would talk to so-and-so and figure things out, so I took this as an Unofficially Official job offer :) The way the conversation went made it sound like I would be his hiring choice if he does decide to go ahead with this partner thing. (I don't know how all of it works exactly.) I can totally see Jason shooting down the idea of hiring me, but just knowing that Dr. Jacobs would want to hire me is great news to me!
I think it was my last post - the one about me being a working mom and how I think I would suck at it - that still applies. If I were to even work part-time I would need to get super organized and manage my time a lot better if the dishes are going to get done more than twice a week and if the laundry is to get done at all. Seriously. And that just requires more growing up. When did this all happen so quickly?? We're just getting started, too. Soon I'm sure I will be looking at pictures of us with older kids and more wrinkles. I look at the pictures now and think, "That's me. I'm married. I have two kids. Wow." It's official: This is my life. Some times, though, it feels very unofficial still. Weird.
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