Could'a, Should'a

It hit me again today. "Crap. I should'a learned Arabic."

I got my patriarchal blessing - if you don't know what that is and want to know, just ask me :) - before my family left for Saudi Arabia in 2002. I was 14. And it told me to learn Arabic. Like not just hinting toward it saying something like, "you have the opportunity to learn new things." No. Flat out, "strive to learn and understand this language." I could'a, I should'a.

Now, you're probably thinking, like I was, "when are you ever going to need to know Arabic??" Well, in my office. That's where. We have soooo many Arab couples come to our clinic. And most of them come to the Midwives because they are all women. (We have one female ob/gyn, but she's usually harder to get into.) Granted, most of them know enough English to get by. Most of the husbands know enough to communicate well, but still. I feel bad.

I didn't put in the effort to learn as much as I should have when I was actually in Saudi Arabia, but it was still always a life long goal. Mostly because I thought I had more of my life to learn it before I would use it. Like going into some major world war with the Middle East like 40 years down the road. Not in assisting the processes of pregnancy and gynecology a mere 10 years later. My only defense: It was 10 years ago. And I can't even remember squat from my two years of high school Spanish classes. Can't say that I would have retained much more than the few words I still know.

I hope what little connection I can spark helps them feel at least a little less... foreign ? Is that the right word? A little less scared? Just hoping for some type of connection that makes them feel more comfortable, more at home. Some of these young wives aren't much older than I was when I visited a gynecologist in Saudi Arabia. And I did not feel at home. That could have been mostly because it was a gynecology office, but still. We're a gynecology office, and a vaginal speculum is scary enough when you're here and you DO know English. 

I always mention to them that I used to live in Hai'l. Everyone I have met has actually been from Saudi Arabia, as opposed to other countries. They get excited, sometimes stunned, and ask questions. When? Why? And, of course, do you know Arabic?? ...I will. Some day. For now, I say as-salaam'alaykum (hello), and tell them which room number we will be in in Arabic. It works for now, I suppose. It has definitely taught me to respect my patriarchal blessing more, though. They give us direction, warning. If we don't heed that direction and warning, you may be stuck trying to explain uncomfortable things in an uncomfortable way :/ I could'a been the rockstar CMA that was able to translate for our Arab patients. Should'a been... goal for the next ten (hopefully not that many) years. Bottom line: Heed revelation.