I Have Two Kids...

I now have two kids. Miss Via came home yesterday, exactly two weeks after she was born. She's super easy now, but I'm definitely wondering how the next few months are gonna go with Levi and I both in school full-time. Yes, I'm pretty sure I'm going full-time in January. Bleh.

Lucas is adjusting, although I'm fairly certain the change has sent him into the "terrible twos" early. *Eye roll* Oh, the tantrums. This seems like it would be the hardest stage since he can do so much and wants different things, but he can't talk and communicate effectively yet. So, he went to bed a half hour early tonight.

I did get a lot done today, though, and now I'm exhausted. Three loads of laundry (folded and put away!), two loads of dishes, clean-ups after Lucas, two children fed, one bathed and put to bed. And this was all just since 3 pm when Levi left for work. I told myself that when Lucas was in bed and Via was fed, I would start on some homework I have for school next semester... it's sitting next to me. Does that count??

So, I grew up as the oldest of six. I always thought I wanted a big family, at least 4 kids anyway, but now I'm not so sure. I know there were multiple times when I was pregnant and taking care of Lucas that I thought to myself, "We're done after this one! No more kids. We're stopping at two." Perhaps it's just the age gap of only 15 months, but I dunno. A few months after Lucas was born, it still felt like something was missing, and I wanted to have another kid soon. Maybe since he was just the easiest baby it was easy to think that?? Well, when he was 9 months old we found out about Olevia. It just felt right. The timing with both kids was right for our family. Of course, Levi and I talked about how many kids we wanted before we got married. We both wanted a bunch, but man! kids are stressful sometimes! Anyway, what I'm trying to say is it was really, really weird rethinking my whole family dream. I admit, I almost looked down on some couples that only had two kids thinking, "can they not handle any more? Who only has two?" Well, I'll tell ya... babysitting (even your own siblings) is A LOT different than having your own!

My sister actually asked me last month what was so different when you have a kid. Um, everything! And two? I'm thinking everything will change again. My sister thought: well, you just have a kid. You take it where you go, get a babysitter sometimes, feed it..." (That's the attitude I got out of the conversation, anyway.) Yep, you take it where you go, and you take it to the doctor's, out to play, to the store (where "quick trips" turn into at least 45 min.), and with those trips you make sure you have snacks, a sippy cup, diapers, wipes, socks on their feet, a jacket, etc. Yep, you get a sitter sometimes. Moms, don't you just *love* asking someone to watch your kids? Well, I feel totally guilty most times. And yep. You feed it. You make sure you feed it enough, you make sure you don't overfeed it, you make sure it burps so it's not fussing an hour later, you make sure it's gaining weight, you make sure it eats fruits, veggies, protein, and carbs... you give it a spoon to hold so it doesn't grab at yours, you clench your teeth when it pushes the food onto the floor, you sigh when it purses it's lips and refuses to eat whatever-it-is, and you make sure it's clean after eating because no one likes a dirty kid. Do you like how I referred to my kid as "it"? And that's just one kid...

Now I have two. And I'm thinkin' that may be enough for us. I look at Lucas, then at Via, then to Levi, and our family feels complete. At least for now. The feeling is totally different than it was after we had Lucas. I'm pretty certain I won't be having any more kids, and it's totally weird to me. Between my heart issues, the preterm babies, the NICU stays, the paper-thin uterus when Via was born, I feel very blessed to have our two healthy children. Even if we end up adopting later on, it's really strange to think that I won't be pregnant again. I'm 23 years old, and I'm done having kids. For someone who thought they would have 5, maybe 6, it's a foreign concept. It's slowly sinking in.

So, when I think, "I have two kids..." it kinda goes both ways. I'm a little shocked that we now have TWO kids to look after, care for, and raise as best we can. But it's also just weird to think that ten years down the road when someone asks how many kids I have, I may respond with "I have two kids."