I checked the date of my last post, Lazy Days... August 11th. Seriously? This has been going on for two weeks?? Ugh. I have to be one of the laziest people around :( I keep the house livable, but, let's face it, I have two kids, and it is NEVER clean for more than 10 minutes when they are awake. I usually pick up after they go to bed... but then they wake up again! Lately they have both been waking up during the night. Yeah, that's fun.
Via must be growing, because despite the baby food, she is still wanting a bottle in the middle of the night. And I don't know what's going on with Lucas. He's so sporadic. One night he will be up at 2 am, the next he's up at 5 am, and then some nights he sleeps just fine. Like the other night, when his cousins were over: all the kids were being watched by Levi's mom while he and I and his brother and his wife went to the temple. They all passed out on the couch that night. Lucas rolled off the couch and onto the floor. We heard him scream, but he went right back to sleep. He slept like that all night. On the floor. Other nights he just wakes up screaming from his crib. Must be nightmares or something :( I can imagine things are still pretty new and chaotic to him. And then we'll get to do it all again in October when we move again. Yay :S
For the most part we've all just been chillin' at home for the past month or so. I'm going insane... I have hardly any motivation to do anything. Today has been okay, though. Levi started with a temp agency for the time being. We are still waiting to hear something, anything from a "real" job. He keeps applying. We keep waiting. But we all finally got sick of being home all day every day haha! I'm pretty sure I was getting on Levi's nerves, too, so he signed up to do temp. I've been a grumpy mama lately :(
It was so easy at first, being patient. Not so much anymore. I don't know if it's that I just lack the faith or what. I really do believe that things will happen in the Lord's time, it's just that I needed
something to happen. We've been waiting three weeks to hear back from an interview, and it just got to the point that I didn't care whether he got the job or not, I just wanted to hear
something! Make sense?? If he has to do temp for a while, fine. If he has to go to Wendy's for a while, fine. If we both have to work for a while, fine. I put off re-evaluating for some benefits because I had no idea what was going on. I hate having to apply for benefits, so I was waiting to see what our next step would be.
Anyway, Levi went on a job this morning for the agency, and I have been forced to watch the kids this morning haha! Levi has been getting up with them in the mornings - since I am sooo not a morning person - and I've been sleeping in until like 10. Yuck. (I am usually the one to get up with them in the night, though, so I justified it that way ;) And I've been sick. Double yuck.)
I have been getting things done today, though. Laundry at least. Man, I had a mountain to fold! I don't know what it is about folding... probably that it always becomes unfolded. Here's the problem: I have to usually fold when the kids are asleep so they don't knock it all over (except I don't know why I didn't think of folding on the bed until today. Duh.) Anyway, when I fold when they are asleep I plan on putting them away when they wake up. But then they wake up and I either forget or just don't care anymore. So they get unfolded haha! And nothing of Levi's stays folded for very long even when it is put away ;) I'm still not sure I get the point of folding... or ironing. I never iron. Just throw it in the drying with a damp rag. That's the greatest technique, I believe. They still get washed...
Rambling. I tend to do that. Sorry. It's a rambling sort of day. The kids are napping and there is nothing good on Tv. I just heard the dryer stop. I've been waiting
forever for that batch to dry. Yeah. I folded like 4 batches of laundry (previously washed and left sitting for a few days), and now I have like 4 more to wash aaaaand fold. I'm on a roll (since I actually had to get up and do something this morning), so I might as well take advantage. Until 2 pm. Then Family Feud comes on, and we will be watching.
If I'm being brutally honest, I am so scared of being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). It is sooo tedious and... patience-requireing, which is something I'm obviously not good at yet right now. I got pregnant right before I started college. School/husband/kids is all I've known. I'm not sure what I will do after my externship if I'm not working, too. I just keep telling myself I will have to be super organized and schedule out my days. Otherwise it will not be pretty. People would always say, "OMGosh I can't believe you are going to school with two kids!" or "I don't know how you do it!!" No.
That was the easy part. It was easy because is wasn't so monotonous. I got breaks from each thing. I have no idea how I'm going to be at home all day every day with these kids. (Sorry kids, but you drive me up the wall sometimes.) Is it the ages?? The terrible 2-year-old with a curious, mobile 9-month-old? I can't get Lucas to do anything consistently for more than a few minutes. Do you know how many activities that is in one day?? And Via just chews on everything. Actually, shoes, mostly. Lucas's shoes. Yum. If she's not chewing, she is standing up to something. And then she falls. And she's not as tough as Lucas was. She's definitely a girl ;)
I really do love my kids. But they are kids. And kids are hard. They are easy at first. All they do is eat and poop and sleep and cry. Then they get older... and they scream and bite and want things and yell if they don't get them and they say "no" to everything and take their diaper off and poop on anything. Someone please tell me it gets better... at least for a little bit before the teenage years. I feel so sad for these kids having kids. I'm afraid they think, "Awww babies!! Babies are cute, toddlers are so cute!!" Yeah, that's why they're not dead yet. Seriously. Once they outgrow those 9 month clothes (or smaller in our case), you're going to lose it at least a few times (I can't be the only one). People wonder how you could ever shake a baby. I wondered how anyone could shake a baby. Then I had babies. They don't call them The Terrible Twos just because they thought it sounded cool. So I feel sad for these young girls that have no idea what they are getting themselves into. Even in a good, stable marriage it isn't easy. I can't imagine raising kids without the support system I have.
I saw this the other day... (on Pinterest, of course)
Haha! Love it. Of course, I know it's really not my kids' fault. I just need to grow up. But it's so relatable (for many, I'm sure). I always thought I would just be this awesome mom doing all sorts of things with all this patience. Ha! I need to work on a few things so that I can relate to this one...
Definitely not feelin' this one these days. Sad, I know. And then I see this one and just think, "Aw, crap."
Kids will definitely do that to ya. I look at what I do a lot more closely. But then I realize that's who I am right now and get kind of depressed haha! I realize I could have the mouth of a sailor if I let myself. Even what I do let slip out is still way too much for my kids. And poor Lucas is trying to mimic everything right now :S And the Tv. Oh my heck. Is Friends too mature for these kids?? Dang it. It's a constant battle between my "adult" self and who I want to be for my kids. Is that even okay? Should I even want to be two different people?? Probably not. That's a little depressing.
Well, I suppose that's enough complaining for one post. I need to work on that too apparently ;) So, I'm gonna get up, get the laundry going again, make lunch for the kids when Lucas wakes up, and then we are going to have some fun with baking soda, vinegar and food coloring. Wish us luck!
